Now that Chloe is nine, she’s officially transformed into a “big-girl”, at least according to her. Overnight she has magical become a pre-tween that is mature enough to open a bank account, go to birthday parties without me hovering, and go to a Katy Perry concert, right…hells-to-the-no. I’m cool with the other stuff, but a Katy Perry concert?!?! I. DON’T. THINK. SO.
So, we’re having a conversation this morning and she tells me that her friend S got tickets for her birthday and she LOVES Katy Perry, so naturally she wants tickets too. I told her that S’s mom can do whatever she wants, SHE won’t be going to a Katy Perry concert.
“Why mom?” she asked.
At this point in the discussion I was already annoyed because sassypants asked me why, but I stayed calm and responded.
“Because it’s not appropriate for children.”
Now I’m kind of regretting giving my kids the whole have a mind of your own, question everything, blah-blah-blah lecture repeatedly, because it’s really coming back to bite me in the ass. Obviously I’m not going to tell her that the reason she can’t go is because Katy Perry shoots whipped cream out of her tits or wears cupcake bras.
Instead I said, “she’s an adult whose songs and concerts are for people much older than you…I mean, it’s bad enough that I let you listen to her music. I can only have so many #parentingfails on my conscience and I’m full right now.”
She said, “Getting revenge on her boyfriend, with a big dark horse isn’t so bad – at least she doesn’t whine about being dumped all the time like Taylor Swift…AND at least she got her self-esteem back on Roar”
and it hit me…
I’ve got enough parenting fails for at least five moms. So next time you feel bad about your mothering skills think about the fact that my kid thinks it’s okay to get revenge on boyfriends with dark horses (which I still don’t get).
If your nine year-old wants to see Katy Perry in concert and you can’t think of a reason to say no, here you go:
1. No one sits with their legs wide open where there are tons of creepy crawly and takes #selfies, while stuck in the jungle – and let’s be honest, no cell phone battery last that long.
2. A cupcake bra with cherry nipples? Yeah, just what I want my kid to wear for Halloween…NOT!
3. Shooting what’s supposed to be whipped cream from your breast? Nuff said!